GETTING OVER AN EX

We always believe is not easy to get over an ex you are so much in love with but reverse is the case. Here are the ways to get over your ex:

1.       Focus on the difference between “love” and “in love”:

When you have gotten a long history with someone, it is hard to imagine you will ever stop feeling some sort of special connection with him or her, even if you know you’ll never want to date that person again. That’s normal. But do you understand that even if you still love someone, you can end up not being in love with them anymore. Think in terms of relatives, you love your parents and siblings but you will never say you’re in love with any of them. Try to grasp this different so that you can be more at peace with your residual feelings.

There are other types of love aside from romantic love. It’s okay to remember someone fondly and admit that a part of you will probably always love them, as long as you can be clear with yourself that it’s a familial kind of love. All you have to focus on is getting over the “in love” part of it.

2.       Give yourself distance:

A breakup is devastating for both parties and you will need time and space away from your ex to successfully cope with it. This means cutting off contact with your ex and avoid spending any more time around him/her than you absolutely have to. Be clear and firm, know what you really want. It might hurt in the moment, but it’s for the best. Note: Never attack your ex for contacting you, be civilized. Say things like “I really need time away from you to heal my wound, “I can’t handle seeing or speaking to you right now knowing you are no longer mine” but always keep the focus on yourself and what you need.

3.       Meet new people:

Now, it is time to go out and start dating again. Don’t rush into this; it isn’t fair to use someone else as a “rebound” and it will prevent you from properly coping with your own feelings. However, once you’re able to control your emotions when you think back to your ex, nothing will help boost your spirits like going on dates with some new people. Attend every party and social events you can but be very careful. Dress up and look your best, you never know who you might meet.

4.       Make it a point to notice others:

Now that you’re not spending leisure time around your unrequited love, it is important to begin noticing other people around you. It’s true that you are unlikely to feel a spark with most of them; but that doesn’t mean you cant appreciate a pleasant voice, a nice butt, a nice stature or a great conversation for what it is. Make a conscious effort to focus on the attractive qualities of others you see and meet. Before long, you’ll find out that there is plenty of room in your heart for new crushes. Don’t worry about finding someone else to fall for just yet. At this point, just prove to yourself that you can have eyes for someone else other than the person you were in love with.

5.       Give it time to move ahead:

Unfulfilled dreams of romance have a funny way of drying up and blowing away when you stop feeding them. However, getting to that point takes time. Stick with your plan, be determined, make room for others, stay away from the person you fell for and always remind yourself  of the flaws and problems in the relationship with your ex when you’re feeling weak because no relationship can be perfect. With this, in the absence of an actual relationship with the person you think you loved, you’ll eventually look back and realize you never loved them at all. You were just intensely attracted. It is hard to really and truly love someone when it is all one-sided. Date around some and try to have fun with it.